They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
