No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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