Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
