Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
