D3 body, D1 cock
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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