Your dad touched me again.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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