So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
