So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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