I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
