elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize