Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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