My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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