Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize