girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
