Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
