I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
