Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
