I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
