I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
