do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
