I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
