so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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