There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize