We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
