You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
