in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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