Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I died a long time ago.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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