she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
