I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
only you would photoshop your dick
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
bring money and cleavage
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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