You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
