just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
