In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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