The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
