There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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