I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
