I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize