I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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