okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she looked like the before picture.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
