absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
