the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
