But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
