I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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