i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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