just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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