If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
