i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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