you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
