Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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