He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
