Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
