i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
