im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
