hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
