yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
