My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Enjoy the penises
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
