I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
