we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
