Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
