someone get that fucking seahorse.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
