I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
