my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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