You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
