Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize