...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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