I'm jealous of your bromance
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
