dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
