I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
