love makes seman taste better
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
