wakey wakey hands off snakey
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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