you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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