hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
