The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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