she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
