I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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