Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
wakey wakey hands off snakey
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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