you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh god it's open bar.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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